There are two times of the day when it’s quiet on a college campus—the morning, when the sun is waking up, and at night, when the only voices you hear are insects calling to each other. 

Many students avoid 8 a.m. classes, opting for the comfort of dull comforters on twin-sized beds, filling up a dorm room. Shyla, however, found peace in waking up early for morning classes. It was the only part of her day when her brain was quiet and focused on experiences, the world around her, instead of her own output and goals. 

Shyla is a perfectionist, and she knows it. “I had to be perfect,” she said. Getting into college was stressful for Shyla as a first-generation student. 

“I think my [admissions] essay was about two pages long,” explained Shyla, “and I had to write about where I came from. That was kind of difficult considering I grew up in foster care. I had to talk about all of that and how I overcame it.”

She continued, “I did a lot of writing, a lot of thinking. I was waking up early, just eating breakfast and then working on my essay immediately. It had to be perfect before I submitted it. Because what if I didn't get it? What if I didn't get in because there was something wrong with my essay?”

It is important to Shyla to be a mentor for her sisters. 

“I had to grow up really quick to take care of my sisters,” Shyla said. “Growing up, I was the mother figure to them. I kind of looked like I had it all together. We came from our parents both having issues. I wanted to be able to be an example for them so they could see, we came from this, but we can get out of it.”

Shyla’s sisters visited her at college once. “They spent the night in my dorm room,” she said. “I had class, but they wanted to go eat breakfast with me.” 

“I woke up at 6 a.m.,” Shyla continued, “and by seven I was leaving to go eat breakfast in the cafeteria. So, they went with me. We were walking, and I was like, ‘Be prepared.’ And they were like, ‘Prepared for what?’ ‘Just be prepared,’ [I said].” 

During Shyla’s morning walks she often saw deer and other wildlife on campus. It was a part of her routine, and Shyla even started naming the animals.

“I was like, ‘Oh, that's Bob over there. He's just chilling.’” Shyla laughed. “[My sisters] were just like, ‘What? You name these things? This is normal for you? They just walk around campus?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, I got used to it. They just walk around and do what they want. Don't go near them though, leave them alone.’”

The deer started following them, and Shyla’s sisters asked her to walk faster.

“‘That's gonna make them mad and make them walk faster,’ Shyla said. ‘Just let them walk with us. They know they can't come into the cafeteria.’ They just kept walking, all nervously, eyeing the deer the whole time. And then we finally got inside [the cafeteria] and were done eating, they were just like, ‘Is that deer gonna be out there?’ And I was like, ‘No, the sun is too bright.’” 

Shyla gave her sisters her dorm key, told them to go back to the dorm while she was at class. 

“And they were just like, ‘Can we come in class with you because of that deer?’” Shyla said, “‘You're not going to run into the deer. I promise.’”

“I was in class, and I thought they left,” Shyla said. “My class was an hour and 30 minutes long. And when I finally got out, I was walking out of the building and then I hear my little sister say, ‘Shy, we're over here.’” 

They all walked back down the hill together to Shyla’s dorm, with only birds and squirrels greeting them on the path. 

When Shyla started college, she took a full class load for two years, even during the summer. She also was a leader in multiple organizations and part of a mentorship program. 

“I wasn't really hanging out with friends,” Shyla said. “I was always doing schoolwork.”

And by “always,” Shyla means always. Shyla would start her day with an 8 a.m. class and still be on campus at 5 p.m. doing schoolwork. During those nine-plus hour days, she would only get up to go to the bathroom. She wouldn’t take any breaks for herself, even to eat.

Eventually, Shyla burned out. She had to step away from school to focus on herself and learn how to live in a way that was sustainable. She took a year-long break from school during which time she got married and got to know herself.

“I learned that it was okay for me to take time [for] myself because I never really had that,” Shyla said. “I feel like it makes a really big difference to have a supportive partner who knows you and can be like, ‘Hey, I see you. You need to stop that.’”

Shyla is returning to school this fall and majoring in social work instead of criminal justice. 

“I'm not taking a full load of classes,” she said. “I'm going to try to pace myself with that. I want to try to at least spend the day remembering to eat, take a break - watch a movie or something - and then go back to work.”

She continued, “I want to be happy with what I'm doing. I want to be able to give back and help others, especially children and families. I want something that's rewarding to me. I want to do better for the community.” 

Shyla also wants to travel to Italy one day. “Their culture is very beautiful,” she said. 

For new college students, Shyla recommends:

“Take your time. Don't feel like you need to rush,” Shyla advises. “Don't put yourself on this demanding schedule where you feel like you have to graduate within this amount of time. You don't have to. Take your time, pace yourself, work through it. Make friends, make memories. College doesn't always have to be just work, work, work. Still live your life outside of college. Pursue what you want to pursue and don't let anyone push you to go a different route.”

Shyla is forever a role model for her sisters. She was the first in their family to be able to pursue a bachelor’s degree, and now she’s also someone who knows how to set healthy boundaries and how to consider her own needs. Despite the wildlife encounters, Shyla’s sisters are excited to visit her again. One of Shyla’s sisters even likes the university so much that she’s considering attending in the future—deer and all. And Shyla will be ready and equipped to help her.