Victor arrived at our interview early, ordered a large iced coffee and responded to emails on his phone, while I wrapped up a Zoom meeting. He didn’t have any other in-person meetings that day, but he still wore slacks and a button-down Gingham shirt. 

Victor first discovered his love for communications in high school, when he was recognized by his teachers and peers for his writing. This led to studying English in college, a career in journalism, and eventually a career in corporate communications. 

Early in his career, Victor made a difficult decision to leave a job without another one lined up, because the company’s values didn’t align with his. While some discouraged this choice, Victor remembers a like-minded person at the company who pulled him aside and said, “Don’t worry, the cream rises to the top.” 

That was more than 10 years ago, but Victor still thinks about that moment of validation, especially during the challenging times in his career. 

“Coming from foster care, one of my great strengths is a sense of values and fairness,” he said. “I have a strong belief in wrong and right, and I want to create a fair and equal workplace for people, even though those ideals don't always play out. One of the strengths of someone that's been through challenging times is they want to create positive experiences [for others].” 

Victor has worked professionally for over 15 years, and only recently at work has he begun sharing his identity as a person who was adopted. 

“In the first 15 years of my career, I rarely mentioned my background in foster care or being adopted,” he said. “Recently I switched companies, and I made that part of my identity. I introduced myself that way on team calls. And someone else that was adopted reached out to me and said, ‘I never mentioned that, but I'm so glad you did.’ And we were able to build a connection from that moment.” 

Victor tends to be introverted, but he’s able to connect quickly and build deep relationships with people, which he attributes to his experiences and how they’ve shaped him. 

Because Victor’s colleagues responded warmly to him sharing his identity of being adopted, Victor wanted to share more. However, there were times earlier in his career that he didn’t feel as encouraged to share.

“Early in my career, someone sent me an email that I felt wasn't showing [me the] appropriate respect for my experience,” Victor said. “I sent an email back to them that was more on the emotional side of things… about how [their] email made me feel.” 

A female colleague on the email thread reached out to Victor and said she was surprised by his response. “Men don’t typically communicate with other men that way,” she said. 

“And I said, ‘That's true.’ I tend to communicate on [an] emotional [and] personal level,” Victor said. “She brought up a good point that other people may not be used to communicating that way. It could be challenging for them, because for men in the corporate workplace, communicating about emotions isn't familiar. For someone like myself, who has been through foster care, communicating my emotions was how I protected myself for most of my life. It's how I've expressed myself and how I've tried to drive the outcomes that meet my needs.”

He continued, “Most times in corporate America, they want you to push your feelings aside and focus on the outcome. But feelings are part of [what] we bring, whether we like it or not, to every situation and interaction both inside and outside the office. I try to connect with people on that level because it helps them understand me as a human and not just an employee.”

Victor noted that a lot has changed since that email exchange. More organizations are encouraging employees to bring their whole selves to work. However, there are still aspects of who we are that are missing from that conversation.

“I think when you bring your whole self to work, it requires the organization to accept certain things,” Victor said. “[It] means you're going to have good days emotionally, and you’re going to have bad days. You are a human being, and that's going to affect things.”

He continued, “But it also creates the space for forgiveness and acceptance of each other, knowing that we don't have to be perfect every day. If we screw up, we can forgive each other because we understand each other, as opposed to more traditional models where you don't talk about it. [Traditionally, if] you have an argument, you walk away with resentment; that resentment festers and [it] plays out in other ways, whether it's gossip, seeking other employment or a different negative outcome.”

By bringing his whole self to work, Victor is able to share his unique strengths, including those that he attributes to his experiences in foster care and being adopted. Victor is collaborative, empathetic, fair, loyal, creative and cares deeply for his colleagues and their work. 

“Being in foster care, I [know] people have helped me and helped create a positive life for me,” he said. “I know that it took immense support systems, and both social and personal sacrifices for people to help get me to where I am today. I want to support other people that way too, so that we can all live our best lives. We work 40 hours a week, which is the bulk of our waking hours. We should be connected, happy and fulfilled during that time. You can't do that if you're not supporting people as people.”

Victor thinks organizations can support foster care alumni by creating a greater sense of security within their organization. 

“When you've got people in an organization that have been in foster care or adopted, one of the greatest drivers for them is going to be their sense of security and fairness,” he said. “Looking back at my career, I made a lot of risk-averse choices because I felt less secure in my social standing and less secure economically because of the background that I've had. I felt like at any time, the floor might fall out on me. If the organization creates that security, they can really allow people to take on more challenges and to deliver better experiences.”

He continued, “I definitely stayed longer at [a] company because I wanted a sense of stability and tried to set myself up with a level of financial security so that if something [went] wrong, I wouldn't fall that far. I'm looking for those loyal relationships, those opportunities that stick around. I think it's cliche now to say that the current generation wants to switch jobs every two to three years. I think what most people want is opportunities for growth and long term security. And if that can be achieved at the same company over 30 years, like past generations had it, I think they would be willing to accept and adopt that.”

One way that companies can provide greater security is by allowing their employees more freedom to fail, Victor said. That way, employees know that they can grow through experience and feel more secure taking risks. 

Victor is also looking for new experiences. He wants to find an organization that will value his strengths and allow him to help build the kind of organization that he wants to be part of. 

“In a lot of organizations, there's such a focus on managing up,” he said. “I tend to manage parallel and inspire down because I want to create enriching experiences for everyone. In the future of work, I think the ability to influence laterally and make everyone feel valued is important. I want to help create a workplace that mirrors that kind of compassionate, accepting and open experience that I've talked about.”

Whatever comes next, the cream always rises to the top, and so will Victor.